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The Journey
Here was all the rest of the world, it seemed, involved in heterosexual pursuits (guys dating girls, for example), and I seemed all alone in my desire to have the love, friendship and acceptance of other guys. I did not understand why the rest of the world seemed to think and feel one way, and I thought and felt something completely different. It made no sense to me. Then my teenage years hit and all hell broke loose. It was a turbulent time that nearly cost me my life. I survived those years with a lot of prayer from others who did not even know what I was experiencing combined with the power of the Holy Spirit.
The journey is not over. It is, in a sense, just beginning. But at least I have begun the journey that will literally last for eternity. And I am really happy to have on board with me the One who loves me when all others abandon me, namely Jesus Christ. His love never wavers, though my perception of His love sometimes does. His willingness to be always there for me never ceases, though my feeling of His presence is sometimes muted. Yeah, it is a long journey. But it just amplifies my motto that "because being gay is just not good enough" -- at least for me. |
It has been a long journey
to where I am now. It has not been an easy trip, nor one particularly
enjoyable. But it has been a trip that had to be made. When I first
discovered that I was homosexual back when I was probably 10 to 12, same-sex
attraction did not seem that unusual to me. I guess that is what happens
when you grow up without a father in the house. But as time went on,
I discovered that that same-sex attraction was beginning to bug me. I knew
it was not something that everyone else was experiencing.
The journey has been long.
It has been difficult. It has many times been extremely emotionally
painful, almost to the point of death. It was not until I truly accepted Jesus
Christ into my life when I was 29 that things very slowly started to make just a little bit of
sense. I mean, here I was, still homosexual, but wanting to know and serve
the One who died on the cross for me. It all seemed strangely surreal, and
Satan never gave up his desire to destroy me, or more aptly put, for me to
destroy myself. Funny thing is, he still doesn't!