Lyrics: Giving Up Hope

Emotional pain is a killer
I know it only too well
It has nearly ended my life
More times that I can even begin to count.

What am I doing?
I'm alive, but not living
Being gay is really a drag
I think I'll end the pain
Once and for all--at least in this life.

But wait, when we die we really go on
To the judgment that awaits us
And ending my life might lead me
To an eternity where I don't want to be.

I know that Jesus loves me,
But sometimes I still feel defeated
But sometimes I still feel hopeless
But sometimes I still feel unloved
The enemy is out to get me
He's using everything in his arsenal
To keep me from allowing Jesus into my life.

Who will encourage me?
Who will love me?
Who will accept me?
Who cares if I live or die?
I know Jesus does,
But does anyone else?

I know He wants me to keep living
Even though I have no idea of why
I know He wants me to keep striving
Even though I have no energy to do so
I know He wants me to keep praying
Praying without stopping
Praying without end
Praying without weakening
Praying without feeling defeated

Being gay really sucks
Being saved really rocks
My life is a mass of confusion
And will continue to be
Until I make it into the next life.

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